Hi everyone! Today is my birthday and I just want to reflect on my thoughts, excitement, and fear about being a year older.
I was dreading this right after I turned 25 last year because I’m like wow okay it’s so much closer to 30 and I still do not have my life together at all. I don’t know why women like me have this fear of growing old. For me, I don’t care about being old because it’s inevitable. It’s the feeling of not having my life together that scares me the most. It’s the disappointment inside me that by this time in my life, I should have a career, get married, and have kids. Growing up, I thought I would get married by 25 and have kids by 27. I thought I had everything planned out but I realized that life does not happen the way you plan at all. If it does, then lucky for you but for me, life has been a journey of trial and error to figure out who I am and what I’m meant to do.
Sometimes (okay maybe a lot of times) I have this regret of wishing I knew what I wanted to do during my undergraduate studies because I would have a set career by now. However, I am glad I did not stick to my exercise science major. Even though those 4 years and student loans seem like a waste, it was a lesson learned and I never been happier to be where I am today. I will graduate as a nurse this October and I will finally have my career at age 26. Yes 26. Twenty six. 4 years after I graduated Rutgers. I will not let a number define me and who I am. This idea that I needed to have my life together in my early 20s is absolutely crazy and I feel so much better to just admit that and let it go. I am loving my journey and it’s not like I am a bum sitting at home doing nothing with my life. I am currently just trying to live my best life and what more can I ask for?
Another year brings more memories with my loved ones. Another year means growing older with them. Another year older means I am getting wiser (hopefully lol). Birthdays are for celebrating life, celebrating love, celebrating myself and I will celebrate the hell out of myself this year and every year to come. Don’t ever let a number define you and don’t ever forget to reflect on all your accomplishments and who you are today. Thank you for reading my little rant. Off to start off this birthday celebration. xoxo <3