Hi everyone! Wow, what a year it has been. 2019 did not end up like how I thought it would when I made this same blog post last year; it actually turned out WAY BETTER! To me, 2019 was a year of self-love, self-care, and self-discovery. I got to travel to 7 different places and went to Europe for the first time which is a dream! Lastly, for my 2020 goals, I went back to read my post from last year and all 5 goals I had last year are still the same for 2020. Below, I am going to start with what I learned followed by my goals at the end.
S E L F – D I S C O V E R Y
I knew for a while I wanted to be a nurse, but I know for sure now after landing my first nurse job back in February. For years prior to nursing, I was stuck trying to figure out what my interests are and what I am good at and it all came down to helping others and saving lives. I felt lost for years and so behind on life, but I learned now to celebrate my achievements and not dwell on how long it took for me to get here. It is honestly so rewarding that I finally have a career that I am able to give back to others. It is truly an amazing feeling to wake up every day doing what I love even when I am cranky and tired from working overnights. I honestly feel so fulfilled being a nurse and I can’t imagine my life as anything else.
On the other hand, I been traveling more often and discovered my love for traveling. Because of this, I want to combine my two passions into one by being a travel nurse. Once February 2020 approaches, I will have at one year of nursing experience, which is the minimum experience needed to be a travel nurse. I talked to a recruiter, made a profile, and submitted an application so I’m on the right track to achieve this goal hehe I’ll keep you guys updated on this.
S E L F – L O V E
I always had self-love, but this really solidified and came into place by getting out of a toxic relationship this past summer. I can go on and on about what went wrong and why it ended but there are two sides to every story and I cannot type forever lol. Ultimately, he could not give me what I needed, and the relationship just became exhausting and tiring, which is the opposite of what I want in a relationship. I really tried to make it work but somehow along the way, I lost a sense of who I was, and that I too was worth loving. I knew for quite some time now that he was not the one, but I stayed because the relationship was convenient, and I physically did not know how to let go.
When it comes to relationships, I let the fear of being alone keep me in relationships that should have ended sooner. I always been a relationship person and made the mistake of jumping into another relationship so soon after another one. I should had taken time to myself to truly heal before getting in this relationship with my ex right after getting out of another somewhat long relationship. Moving forward, I have been by myself and I been pretty comfortable with myself and appreciate my alone time so much.
Of course, I was sad after the breakup, but it was a different type of sad. It was not a “wow I lost the love of my life” sad, or “I still love him’ sad; it was more like, “wow I really just wasted 3+ years with someone who showed me from the start he was not the one.” I felt horribly about myself and disappointed in myself for letting it go so long. However, I had too much going on in my life that I could not let myself cry or be upset. At this point of my life, my Instagram started to grow more so I was invited to more events and started to work with more brands. This kept me busy and focused while working a full-time job. I was also traveling more and spending more time with loves ones, which gave me time to find myself and reflect on life.
Overall, I learned how to be by myself and be comfortable by myself. I learned to not have to rely on someone else for anything, which includes relying on someone to cheer me up or make me feel better because I can do it myself. I kept pushing myself to have this mindset that I can accomplish anything and everything by myself. I cannot really say how much time this took but I have to admit, it was pretty hard to learn self-love, especially when you thought you had it all long. After this summer, I was able to achieve that and was able to let go, forgive myself, and not beat myself up for staying.
I am 100% over my past relationship and it is because of self-love, I am who I am right now. I am so incredibly happy, free, thriving with my career as a nurse and a blogger. I saw a quote or meme about not begging others and walking away that said “even though life might be lonely, it was peaceful” and I could not resonate anymore. Moral of the story: get rid of the toxic traits, things, people in your life and your life will be so much better trust me I’m living proof of it hehehe.
S E L F – C A R E
I always been the type to take care of others over myself and I am still guilty of this. It is something I am working on and I realized I need to do more of. For example, at work, I am constantly trying to make sure my patients eat and drink but, yet I go through a whole shift without eating and drinking myself. Originally, self-care to me meant facials, massages, and sleep but for me lately it has been saying NO! I always spread myself so thin and it takes a HUGE toll on my health; both physically and mentally. I have this habit of always saying yes to people from picking up overtime or going out with my friends and to events because I can’t say no, and I have bad FOMO. I am working on making it a habit to spend more time to myself at home and say no to these events. I don’t know if you know but I work overnights, so my sleep schedule is already messed up and I am always super tired. I am going to make it a habit on listening to my body and if I can’t go out or attend this event, then I will not feel bad on cancelling. 2020 will definitely be a selfish year of my prioritizing my health (physical & mental) and myself.
2 0 2 0 G O A L S
I went back and reread my last blog post from 2018 about my 2019 goals and they are all the same so I am going to list them again below and say if I met them and how I will try to stick to these goals for 2020 🙂
Adapt a healthier lifestyle
It was hard for me to be consistent with working out and eating healthy when I first started my nursing job. I was completely new so I felt like it took me longer to do things and I felt like I never had time to physically eat. Then, I transitioned to work night shift which really messed up my gym & eating healthy routine. I would always eat junk at work and would be too tired during the day to gym. Moving forward, I am going to start making healthier decisions and actually make time to take breaks at work. I definitely want to start eating healthier and be more consistent with working out. It is true that food is our fuel and if you’re eating like junk, then your body will most likely feel like junk.
Do not settle for less
I still have this mindset and will forever have this mindset. I will not settle for a job, person, or anything. Just think of what you really want in life and make that happen. There is nothing stopping you from getting what you truly deserve!
Be more consistent with my blog
I have been more consistent with posting on IG but not really with my blog. For 2020, I want to make sure to post at least once a month. I also want to start utilizing Pinterest and maybe even a YouTube channel.
This a must for next year just because I love traveling so much. In 2019, I travelled to Miami, Dominican Republic, Denver, Cancun, Toronto, Spain, and Portugal. For 2020, I know for a fact I will be going back to Cali for my 28th birthday and also a family trip to Asia in late May or June. I thought about solo traveling since it is so ridiculously hard to find a travel buddy but maybe not 2020 lol I am still scared to, and I would love to share my experience with someone else.
I definitely think I reached this goal in 2019 because I cut all the toxic things out my life and realized I can’t settle for less. This is always the motto aka go do whatever you want that will make you happy. Life is too short to be anything but happy and Audrey Hepburn did say happy girls are the prettiest 🙂
Thanks again for taking the time to read this blog post and following along my blog journey. It was kind of hard for me to really sum up 2019 since so much had happened, but I tried lol. Hoping 2020 will be a wonderful year for you guys and hope to stay connected! xoxo <3